One of the hardest things anyone can acknowledge is that they have a problem. We want be self-sufficient in control at all times. It hurts our pride to acknowledge weakness. And pornography of all problems is the last thing anyone wants to admit. The question is how much damage are we willing to see out in our minds and relationships before we reach out?
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
Here’s what accountability looks like. I have Accountable2You software installed on all my devices. It costs ~$7 a month. (The most popular alternative is Covenant Eyes.) A2You sends a log of every webpage I visit to one of my mentors. That same mentor has made himself available for support around the clock. This system make it a lot more difficult to fall. And if I do compromise, there’s a process for getting back on track instead of digging a deeper hole—which is what people tend to do in the absence of support.
I also have free content restrictions on my phone that block pornographic websites. This is a good first step if you are strapped for cash. I also recommend downloading a secure browser and having your accountability partner install a passcode on your device. Don’t just involve anybody. Involve somebody you trust. Involve somebody who understands the issue. Involve somebody who can motivate you to be better not simply make you feel better when you mess up.
The end goal is to get to a point where you have no desire for pornography, but until then accountability is the way to go. Given how big the stakes are, it is a very small investment to make.
For more, see the complete archive of articles on integrity.
Are you getting any professional help to find out how you developed your addictions in the first place? You can lock up the liquor cabinet, but it doesn’t mean you’re not still an alcoholic. Same with Internet filters.
I agree that deep work is necessary. Internet filters can’t change the heart. What they do is make it harder to compromise. I think that’s extremely valuable in an age where compromise is easier than ever. But where there is no commitment to change, people will always find their way around them. Accountability + commitment is the way to go because it addresses both the internal and external environment, which we are all a product of. I plan to always have accountability in place even if I’m only tempted once a month because I want pornography completely out my system.