The following is a transcript I created of a YouTube video published by Richard Yu entitled “How To Stop and Quit Watching Porn Forever (Easiest Methods).” For the embedded video, continue to the end of the article.
Yu: Look, I know exactly how you feel, and it’s not a good feeling. You give into pornography. You’re sitting there thinking “Why the hec did I just make that same mistake again?” You just keep repeating the same mistake, the same mistake over and over again. You might feel shame. You’re feeling guilt, and you’re kind of kicking yourself because you know there’s fundamentally something wrong with [Inaudible], and maybe you have a porn addiction — the same one I did.
Now if you’re new here, I know this is not a topic that I normally talk about. My name is Richard. And the reason I want to talk about this topic is because this is the stuff that nobody wants to be vulnerable about even though it’s destroying 90% of the population out there. That’s why in this video I want to share with you these 5 strategies on exactly how to quit pornography.
Now the first lesson that I want to share with you is a very simple one. You have to remove the addiction from the source.
1. Remove the addiction from the source
What I mean by that is typically we all have these different triggers. So, if you think about it, most people don’t wake up one day and just say, “I really want to watch porn today.” No, it’s always a series or progression. In my case, what always typically happens is it starts on social media. Let’s be honest. Social media — what you see on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok — was what a Playboy magazine was 20 or 30 years ago. The amount of skin, the amount of just profanity that is seen on social media nowadays is so widespread and it completely, completely overfloods your brain with too much dopamine.
I’ll tell you that when I was a university student at UCLA, probably 50 or 60% of the people I followed were just models or attractive girls that I thought were really cute at school. What happens is that the photos themselves are pretty harmless, but they’re a gateway. And when you see a photo of someone with a lot of skin, all of a sudden now that transitions to you being alone in your room, which then transitions to you wanting [a bigger] dopamine hit, which is then when you transition into pornography.
First and foremost, unfollow all the people that you know you shouldn’t be following. Look, if you’re following just on social media not because of the content and the value that they add, but just because of their physical looks, maybe you shouldn’t be following that person because that is a massive trigger for you. In fact, if you take a look at my Instagram right here and you take a look at the followers, I follow like 8-10 people at a time. All of them are either pastors, business peers, or mentors that I deeply respect. And every single one of these individuals that I follow adds value to my life in some kind of way.
Now the second strategy that I’m going to share with you is actually going device free at nighttime.
2. Go device-free at nighttime
The one thing I’ve seen is that our willpower dramatically decreases throughout the day. If you think about sleeping as recharging your batteries and your batteries now go up to [the] 100% level — as your day goes on, as you have your workouts, as you have more meetings, after you have more classes, more commitments, that energy level starts falling down to 50, 40, 30 — and eventually by the end of the night you’re at 10. And what I’ve seen in my personal life is that when I come to the very end of the day, and it’s 8, 9 PM, and I’ve been up since 4 AM, and I have no more willpower, that is when I’m the most vulnerable.
So what I like to do — I actually charge all of my devices outside of my bedroom. Because what happens is if you bring your phone or laptop into your bedroom — well, in your bedroom you have privacy. You shut the door and that’s where you give into pornography. So you want to create physical barriers by going device-free at nighttime when you’re the most vulnerable.
The third strategy that I want to share with you is very, very simple. And it’s what I call “Open Door Policy.” What I mean by that is if you have a roommate — for example, I live with two other entrepreneurs that are inside, and they hold me accountable. And they know that I don’t want to watch pornography. So whenever I’m tempted, I just do a simple thing. I always leave my door open.
3. Leave your room door open
Think about it. Would you pull down your pants, pull out a computer screen, blast on loud pornography if you knew that your door was open and you knew that your roommate could pass by any second? You probably wouldn’t do that the same way that you probably wouldn’t have sex with someone in that same circumstance. You want your privacy. So if you know that there’s a certain time of day that you’re vulnerable, just simply leave your door open.
The fourth strategy that I want to share with you is actually very, very effective. And it’s that your brain can only focus on one thing at a time, and so if you’re fixating on “Man, I really, really want to have sex right now. I really want to release. I really want to watch pornography,” one of the best things that you can possibly do is just go out and exercise — because the thing is your brain can only focus on one thing.
4. Exercise because your brain can only focus on one thing at a time.
So if you’re sitting at your desk, you’re working, you’re studying, and you’re just fixating, “Oh my gosh, I really, really want to watch pornography,” stand up. Put the computer screen down and just go out for a 5-minute walk.
Whenever I do this, sometimes I’ll just walk outside. I’ll drop down, I’ll do 15 push-ups, 20 jumping jacks — get back on track, and you’ll be refreshed. The worst thing that you can do is just sit there and force your brain into thinking, “I just need more discipline. I need more willpower.” Willpower and discipline, inevitably, regardless of how disciplined you are, eventually will fall away, which is why you need to leverage physical exercise as the thing that’s going to take your mind off of it. I promise you right now, if you have the urge to watch pornography, if you take a lap around your house right now, you come back after 5-10 minutes, you’re not going to be thinking about that anymore.
And tip #5 is simply to find an accountability partner.
5. Find an accountability partner
This is such a key, key lesson here. In fact, my accountability partner Newton and I — we have been having weekly accountability calls with each other for about 18 months now. And every single week I have to report to him on a few things, but pretty much I text him on my wake-up time. I text him if I did my Bible study. And I even report to him on if I watched pornography today.
You might think, “Man, that’s really intimate. That’s really weird, and that’s really personal. But that’s what it takes if you want to be a high-performer, glorify God, and glorify and serve people, and make sure you’re not giving in to bad addictions. Remember, extraordinary results call for extraordinary actions. And, yeah, it’s a little weird, and it’s a little uncommon to report to an accountability partner on whether or not you’re watching porn, but at the end of the day, that’s what it takes if you’re striving for excellence.
Now, these 5 lessons here about helping you with pornography are part of a much greater mission. It’s not just to help you overcome an addiction, it’s to help you become the best version of you.
For more, see My Name Is Pornography.
