Are Pornography Filters A Waste Of Time? (Porn Reboot)

The goal of a pornography filter is to keep temptation at bay. However, given how profuse and subtle pornography is, not even the most advanced filters can block all of it. Tech-savvy people routinely find their way around even the most stringent porn blockers. Popular social media sites, like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Snap Chat, which most people consider OK in general, all house more than their fair share of pornography. Filters, when overly relied upon, can give us a false sense of security and lead to complacency. People often substitute the minimal protection of a porn filter for the deep work needed to become the kind of person who doesn’t have a need for pornography in the first place. So, are pornography filters they a waste of time? Well, not exactly. .

Today, I’ve transcribed an insightful clip in which J.K. Emezi from Porn Reboot gives his two cents on the issue, drawn from his extensive experience working with clients. J.K. concludes that external porn filters can serve as a deterrent–especially early on in the reboot process–but they cannot be relied on. Lasting success in the reboot process, J.K. argues, owes to the presence of an internal filter and a self-image that does not admit of pornography consumption.

The best way to use porn filters is part of a comprehensive approach to ending your behavior with porn and masturbation. They aren’t a waste of time, when you know that they’re not the true solution to your problem. They are simply a deterrence—a short-term deterrence. . .

I believe it’s very important to be able to learn how to manage yourself—how to develop and build an internal filter, an internal deterrent to our digital technology-filled world. . . And, eventually you’re going to change your self-image, which is pretty much the final frontier, where it doesn’t matter if pornography was right in front of you—you still wouldn’t watch it. . . You’re just not a guy who views pornography.

J.K. Emezi

There are a large number of pornography filters on the market. Two that I have had a good experience with in the past are Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You (see accountability). For more, see the complete archive of articles on integrity.

Transcript:

Welcome, brother. Today, we are going to be talking about whether porn filters are a waste of time or not.

I’m J.K. Emezi, Founder of Elevated Recovery and Head Coach at the Porn Reboot System. We help high-performing executives, entrepreneurs, business owners, and leaders end their secret behavior with pornography and masturbation, discretely, within 90 days.

So, I often hear men say that they slipped, or they relapsed, because their porn filter didn’t block a specific site. Or they’ll say something along the lines of, “You know what. I got a new phone.” Or, “I got a new device, and I couldn’t install my filter on it fast enough, and as a result, I slipped.”

I understand that a lot of porn recovery programs and coaches and therapists stress the importance of porn filters. Honestly, they can be a helpful way to keep you off and away from sites that you know will send you to a relapse, and you can use them to block websites that are used to access pornography or porn websites. They are useful for quite a few men who are struggling with this behavior.

But, on the other hand, porn filters are also easier to get around once you figure them out. They are so many sites that contain pornographic content, that you couldn’t possibly filter all of them out. And I see fall too many men put the responsibility of their reboot on these filters. If the filter fails, then they blame it for their relapse, instead of looking at their behavior, so sometimes it can be a hindrance more than a help.

So, are porn filters reliable, or are they a waste of time? Is placing the power into the hands of a computer program the right way to approach your reboot?

Well, if you’re serious about ending your behavior with pornography, then porn filters can only act as a band-aid over the real problem. For instance, most men within the Porn Reboot System are passed the point where they’re looking at pornography, or trying to block pornography. They understand that this is a process addiction, and they understood that it’s about the rush of feel-good chemicals released during the entire process of their arousal, or when they are triggered. And so that’s what they’re actually focusing on. They’re focusing on different stages of the process, not just [the] porn filter in between me and porn. And if porn goes over the filter—if something is wrong with the filter—I’m affected. No, there’s a lot more going on.

So, if you’re one of those guys who’s feeling good because you put a porn filter on your web browser, it’s not a long-term solution. It may keep you away from pornography for a few days or a few weeks, but it’s not going to keep you away for months or years. Staying off porn requires a shift in your entire mindset and lifestyle, not just a computer program that blocks you from bad sites, right?

So, if you truly want to control your out-of-control behavior, brother, you have to do the work it takes to overcome your problem. To identify whatever the issue is. You know, things like NoFap and semen retention—they have the same or similar sort of approach. Sure, they solve the porn problem for a short period of time, but they don’t address what your actual problem is, right? So they’re not going to lead to any sort of lasting change.

Now, there is nothing wrong, OK, with using a filter in the early stages of your reboot when you’re still learning to control your behavior. They can be a great tool to keep you away from those sites. But again, they cannot be your first and last line of defense against your pornography addiction or against pornography, excuse me. If you have a serious porn problem, then they’re not going to make any long-term difference to you.

The best way to use porn filters is part of a comprehensive approach to ending your behavior with porn and masturbation. They aren’t a waste of time, when you know that they’re not the true solution to your problem. They are simply a deterrence—a short-term deterrence. If you are going to install a porn filter, and you think that’s going to solve all your problems—I know I sound like a broken record—it’s not going to be worth it for you.

The reason why I’m sounding like a broken record, brothers, is because over and over again, I see brothers—even brothers who have made significant progress in their reboot—still fall back on this porn filter thing.

Another thing that’s similar to porn filters is lock boxes. Some brothers will pick up a lockbox, a timed lockbox, put their phone in it, and then lock it, and it won’t unlock till maybe 7 AM in the morning, or maybe 6 AM, when they have to start preparing to go to work. Again, nothing wrong with that, maybe if you are coming out of a relapse, but if you become dependent on that, you’re not building the necessary skills to survive in our digital world.

It’s like those brothers–and I respect those who are like, “I’m never going to be on social media. I’m never going to use social media.”

I don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t need to be on social media all the time, but unless you are an older gentleman who is established in your career already, or you’ve hit your financial goals. You’ve hit your career goals—yeah, that’s fine. But, if you’re younger and you’re still coming up in the world, chances are, sooner or later, you’re going to be forced to get a smartphone. You’re going to have to get on something that is similar to social media—whatever iteration of it is out there.

I believe it’s very important to be able to learn how to manage yourself—how to develop and build an internal filter, an internal deterrent to our digital technology-filled world. And that’s what we teach you within the Porn Reboot System. We give you all these coping skills, these strategies, so that first, they can help you change your habit. Eventually, you can change your lifestyle, and live a lifestyle that’s conducive to being online without being triggered.

And, eventually you’re going to change your self-image, which is pretty much the final frontier, where it doesn’t matter if pornography was right in front of you—you still wouldn’t watch it. Of even if you did or were forced to in some weird circumstance, it wouldn’t affect you, because it’s just simply not a part of your self-image. You’re just not a guy who views pornography. And that’s where I hope every brother who is struggling with this problem eventually gets to.