The No-To-Porn Guide: Strategies & Tools to Break Free is now available on Amazon and free to download as a PDF file!
Today, I transcribed a video published by TeachingMensFashion (Jose Zuniga) about sexual discipline and personal growth. Zuniga divides his talk into 7 steps that can be framed as imperatives: 1-) Become a man of sexual discipline and high standards, which starts with quitting pornography; 2-) Invest in yourself by learning skills and practicing hobbies instead of chasing sexual stimulation; 3-) Eliminate pornography at its root, which includes “any picture, audio, or video that sexually stimulates you;” 4-) Do strenuous physical activity, especially if you can’t control your sexual impulses, which discipline is necessary to attract the woman you desire.
5-) Understand the connection between sexual discipline and wealth creation; a lack of sexual discipline impoverishes; 6-) Learn to love doing hard things and understand both the challenge and opportunity of quitting pornography. 7-) Do not follow blind men who are unmarried or unsuccessful, so that you might learn to love correctly.
Excellent advice. One thing I would also add is the necessity of ACCOUNTABILITY. As James Clear wrote in Atomic Habits, “‘disciplined’ people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.” In my opinion, any initial deposit of willpower should go toward creating an accountable environment that is conducive to success.
Check out the complete transcript of the video below, which has gone viral in under a week and is ripe with examples!
See now, as a man, you become a man of high standard, no longer just caving into whatever a woman wants. You are now in complete control. And now this is when you become desirable, because women are used to men doing whatever they want because most men will cave because they’re so sexually perverted, they have no dignity.
Jose Zuniga, Founder of TeachingMensFashion
Transcript of Desexualizing Your Brain Is A Cheat Code
Social media, television, and music have all over-sexualized our brain to the point that men no longer have control. Being sexually disciplined is a cheat code for winning across life with women, with your family, with money, and with motivation. So today, I’m going to walk you through a 7-step process to desexualize your brain and become sexually disciplined.
Starting with number one. You’re the prize. You have to be selective. Being obsessed with women makes you desperate and from an evolutionary standpoint, which is worse than being ugly or lower-status. Women are biologically programmed to look for a guy that will ensure her survival, his own survival, and the survival of their children. If this guy is obsessed and needy over her, you will automatically turn her off. On top of that, you can’t even talk to women because your confidence is trash.
So, to start your sexual discipline journey, you have to start by quitting pornography. Research shows that those that consume pornography have lower sexual desire and lower sexual satisfaction. Now the important part with the research is that it also proved that as soon as you stop pornography, you revert all the negative side effects.
Cool, you realized the importance of quitting porn but you know it’s not that simple. There are certain things that lead you to that site that you need to fix first. Tips 2-5 will show you how to fix those things to become sexually disciplined and the benefits it will bring to your life.
Two, it will save you 10 months and make you rich. Chasing women is expensive and exhausting. You are wasting valuable time you should be investing in yourself. There was a recent study that found that it takes you going through about 4,000 dating profiles, or about 9 months, to find that one person. Yet there’s also studies suggesting that 1 in 3 men aren’t having sex.
However, on the other side, PornHub and dating sites are at an all-time high. The average time spent on PornHub a day is 10 minutes. Multiply that a year, it’s 3,650 minutes, or about 60 hours, or 2 and a half days. So I want you to follow me here. You spend an average of 9 months swiping to find a date. That doesn’t work because 1 in 3 of you aren’t having sex, so then you spend 10 minutes a day on PornHub. What we can deduce here is that men are spending all their time chasing women and are having 0 results. What could you have done with that time?
As a matter of fact, I’ll tell you what you could have done. I want you to find a new hobby, a new passion, a new business to start. Then I want you to apply the 20-hour rule to each of them. The 20-hour rule states that if you focus for 20 hours on a new task, you can become reasonably competent at that task. That’s about 45 minutes a day for just one month. So instead of spending 10 months chasing women with 0 results, you can spend 10 months developing 10 different skillsets, or passions, that will make you a more interesting and attractive man. And also make you richer.
I’ll give you a good example. Month 1 you can learn a new language. Month 2 you can learn to play chess. Three you can learn to run Facebook ads. Four you can learn Jujitsu. Five you can start weight training. Six you can become a volunteer. Seven you can go hunting. Eight you can learn how to box. Nine you can create content. Ten you can build a new business. Do this, and I promise you you will become richer and happier at the end of 10 months than all the time you spend chasing women, and then you will also become more desirable and more attractive.
Three, stop going on TikTok. This will increase your motivation. Every time you ejaculate, you drain your masculine energy. When you ejaculate, oxytocin, vassopresin, and prolactin are all released. The last two put your body in a relaxation state, which is why you get tired. Prolactin has been linked to the feeling of sexual satisfaction. So not only do you get tired, you also remove any motivation to actually pursue to become better, to become more attractive, to attract a girl that you actually want, because why would you? You already released the prolactin, you are sexually satisfied. So I need you to become sexually disciplined and stop going on social media looking for pornography.
I know most of you aren’t just diving on to PornHub. Instead, you’re going on TikTok, on Reddit, on Instagram, looking for porn. What ends up happening? You have too much time on your hand that day because you’re not doing anything. You then become unmotivated because you’re sad. Then you go the site to look for pornography. You’re looking for a girl twerking, something that stimulates you. And once you find it, you go down a rabbit hole. After a few minutes, that’s not enough, so where do you end up? PornHub. You need to cut the problem at its source. You don’t realize it, but any picture, audio, or video that sexually stimulates you is considered pornography. It’s not just seeing two naked people.
Four, you get the woman you want when you’re sexually disciplined. See now, as a man, you become a man of high standard, no longer just caving into whatever a woman wants. You are now in complete control. And now this is when you become desirable, because women are used to men doing whatever they want because most men will cave because they’re so sexually perverted, they have no dignity.
You want to have complete control over your sexual impulses, and if you feel you can’t control them, I need you to go to the gym and do a hard exercise. If you find yourself extremely horny all the time to the point that you feel you can’t control it… This study found that strenuous, excessive exercise lowers your sex drive. On top of that, doing that [Inaudible] your self-control and builds a better body that increases your confidence.
Five, you won’t be poor. When you do not have self-control over your sexual impulses, it will get you pregnant and hinder your chances of success. There is something called the success secrets. It’s an effective formula for anyone that lives in a developed country where if you do these 3 things, your chances of poverty are almost 0. That is, finish high school, have a full-time job, and don’t get pregnant outside of marriage.
People that watch pornography are ten times more likely to get their partner pregnant because they don’t have self-control. And remember what I said, it doesn’t start at porn, it starts before. So a trick you want to start doing, is changing the music you listen to. As a matter of fact, I would even suggest replacing rap music for audiobooks, for podcasts that build you up. You don’t realize it, but there are studies that prove that there is a direct link between music and controlling your actions, specifically in the area of sex.
Alright, this all sounds great, right? Being sexually disciplined can make you richer, have more motivation, get the woman you want, avoid poverty. But the problem here is that none of that is instant. You have not learned delayed gratification in your life. And while the pros are all good, when you’re alone in your room, you’re going to convince yourself to do it anyways, because what’s the harm? No one is looking. No one is ever going to find out. And this is why I left these last 2 points at the end. This will solve your problem of not being able to finally quit.
Six, when you’re sexually disciplined, you will be trained to learn to love doing hard things. Porn is the hardest vice to break on a scale of difficulty. If you can overcome this, you can overcome anything in life. Let me put this in perspective for you. When you eat food, dopamine is increased by 150% more than normal. When you consume nicotine, dopamine is increased by 200% more than normal. When you have sex, it is increased by 250%? more than normal. When you do cocaine, it is increased by 340% more than normal.
The problem with porn is that it increases your dopamine levels by 250% more than normal — just like sex does. However, unlike sex, it keeps you at that high level of dopamine for a longer time, longer than even cocaine. And this is the challenge you should look forward to — the mental one. No one is watching, and it’s just you versus you. This is when it counts. We understand now that prolonged porn usage leads to lower self-control, so when you’re alone in your room and you think, “No big deal.” That’s when you have to build that mental strength, and when it actually counts.
And that’s instant, which takes me to number 7. You will learn to love correctly. Do not let blind men lead you the wrong way, that are not successful, that are not married, that don’t have a healthy family. You do not need to sleep with 100 women to find the right one. As a matter of fact, I would say that would hurt you. There are scientific studies that have proven that the more sexual partners you have, the less likely you are to be happy in a long-term committed relationship. Being disciplined with who you are connecting with allows you to actually enjoy, love and respect the girl you are with. Then you will have the strength to do that in a long-term relationship.
