Today, I want to share the testimony of how a guy named Aaron Kim got free from an addiction to pornography that was damaging his walk with God, relationship with family, and mental health. Aaron’s testimony is a bit unusual. Aaron wasn’t set free progressively, using various the strategies and tips that have helped me and so many others. Aaron was set free in a single day after he got a dream with a clear message: pornography was sin.
Aaron was so deep in his addiction that he had convinced himself that there was nothing wrong with the habit. Aaron attributes the fact that has not looked at pornography after his dream–7 years ago— to the “fear of God”–a healthy kind of fear, akin to wearing a seatbelt. Aaron testifies that after he was set free, “that dark cloud or blanket was lifted off,” and his relationship with God began to blossom.
Fear of the negative consequences of an action can lead us to take constructive action today. For example, fear of a hurricane may lead us to take cover or exit an area. Fear of a robbery or murder may lead us to lock our doors, install a security system, and arm ourselves. Fear of a car accident may lead us to wear a seatbelt and not drive reckless.
When we see pornography and lust for the detriments that they are, our natural instinct should be to abstain from them at all costs. When God gets involved, who has a vested interest in our sexual and moral integrity, the effect is only magnified.
Check out the video and transcript I’ve created down below! (FYI, you can share your testimony by making a submission — testimonies)
I had a dream that night that I was a detective, and that I was assigned a case where an innocent man was murdered. It was Jesus–I didn’t know it at the time. So I was trying to investigate, but I got a call. This man called me, he said, “Are you the man investigating the murder of an innocent man?” I said, “That’s me.” He said, “My son has a message for you.” So he gives the phone over to his son, and he starts telling me a bunch of numbers. I don’t remember, it just seemed random to me, like 578418, and I responded by saying, “What does that mean?” And he responded “dennis backwards.” He hangs up the phone and I wake up from my dream. It’s like 3 AM.
Aaron Kim
The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.
Proverbs 14:27
For more, check out the complete archive of testimonies.
Transcript:
Hi, my name is Aaron, and I would like to share my testimony of how God rescued me from my addiction to pornography. I bring this up because I know a lot of us Christians are addicted to pornography. It is so important that you need to get out of it in order for your walk with God to be unhindered. When you’re addicted to pornography, your walk with God is really stunted. It’s like a barrier between you and God. Yes, you are saved as a born-again Christian, but your prayer life is really hurt.
When you read the Word, and when you try to walk with God, it is severely hindered because of this ongoing sin. And the thing is you know it’s a sin. And it really, really hurts your relationship with God. That’s number one, the biggest reason to get out of it at all costs.
Number two is it really hurts your relationship with those around you, especially if you’re a married person. It’ll harm your relationship with your spouse and your children. I have been set free from my addiction for the last seven years. It started in junior high. I started dabbling with it, and it became more prevalent in my life in high school and in college. I almost had graduated college, and I was on my own. It became a full-on addiction.
However, I was saved at age 24, and after I was saved, I stopped looking at it for about 8 months to a year, but after that it just crept back in to my life. I started to just do it again, but this time as a born-again Christian, it really bothered me to the core, when I kept on looking at it. And the problem was I was really addicted, and so I would look at it one night, and get on my knees and pray to God for forgiveness. I’d say, “God, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to look at this. I don’t know why I do. I don’t want to do it, but forgive me Lord. Help me not to do this.” And the very next day I’d do it again and again. And it became like a ritual.
Some days, by sheer willpower, I’d stay off it for a few days, but this addiction was like a rubber band. You go one day, two days, three days, four days, five days, and you’re back. That addiction is just continuing its course.
So this carried on for about three years after I was saved, and one night, when my family went to bed, it was like 11 PM. I just finished looking at pornography. I got on my knees, like I usually do, like that ritual of just saying, “God, I’m sorry.” But this time, I just told God, “This just feels like something I need. I just can’t stop. I think it’s natural.” And if it’s natural, it’s not a sin. And so I went that far into pornography where I prayed to God saying, “God, I don’t think it is a sin. As a matter of fact, God, pornography is not a sin. Amen.” And I went to bed that night.
I had a dream that night that I was a detective, and that I was assigned a case where an innocent man was murdered. It was Jesus–I didn’t know it at the time. So I was trying to investigate, but I got a call. This man called me, he said, “Are you the man investigating the murder of an innocent man?” I said, “That’s me.” He said, “My son has a message for you.” So he gives the phone over to his son, and he starts telling me a bunch of numbers. I don’t remember, it just seemed random to me, like 578418, and I responded by saying, “What does that mean?” And he responded “dennis backwards.” He hangs up the phone and I wake up from my dream. It’s like 3 AM.
And I said “dennis backwards.” First of all, what kind of dream is that? And I had to try to figure out what “dennis backwards meant.” And so, it’s 3 in the morning, and it took me like a good minute to figure out. It spelled “sinned.” I never knew that. I never realized that “dennis backwards” spelled sinned. And to think that God—it’s so obvious it’s from him—he gives me this really, “dennis backwards,” and then wakes me up right after he gives me that riddle to solve while I’m awake.
So I was just so freaked out. I wasn’t thinking that straight on because I thought God was going to execute me at that time. Like out of my rebelliousness, I went so far to say “pornography is not a sin.” And he delivered a message directly to me saying I sinned. So I started just weeping out of pure fear, getting ready for God to strike me. And I woke up my wife to let her know, and she was very unhappy, as you can imagine. But at that moment, through that dream, God stamped the fear of God into my heart. And I haven’t looked at pornography since. There’s not even a stronghold. I don’t desire it. I fear God so much, through that dream, that I don’t want nothing to do with any sexual sin. And that was it.
I didn’t do any accountability partners. There was no strategies—nothing. The addiction was just stopped, in its track. And I got to tell you the before and after. After I stopped looking at pornography, my relationship with God blossomed. That’s the best way to put it. My connection with him just was made clear. That dark cloud or blanket was lifted off, and I could pray. I could read his word and walk with him without any hindrance anymore. It was so much better.
And through that I was able to understand his word. He brought me into a deeper understanding of him. I’m still learning a lot. And there’s still certain sins, you know, that I’ll struggle with here and there, but pornography was a deep-costing one. And it needed to go. And God showed me that. And, you know, it wasn’t from my willpower or anything. He just saw that I went so far and he needed to intervene. It was like a sheep walking this way, and he just picked me up and said “No, that way.” And I kept on walking. And he had me walk toward the light instead of the darkness.
So my advice to you is if you’re addicted to pornography right now is to first really know the cost of it, that it needs to go. There can’t be any compromise. Don’t be like where you go so far and you even call it not a sin, so you can just freely do it without your conscience just accusing you all the time. You don’t need to go that far. Take it from me, through this testimony, that it is so harmful, that God came down into my dream, and had to tell me that it was a sin.
And if you need a way to break out, my advice to you is to ask God to give you the fear of the Lord. The fear of God can save us from so many things. You know there is good fear. And, as Ray Comfort says, like putting on a seatbelt. That’s a good kind of fear, to save you.
I want to encourage you to change your prayers to asking God to give you the fear of God to stop you from looking at pornography. Let him do it. And I believe he will give it to you in some way, maybe not exactly like mine, but in some way he’s going to help you to stop. And, in my case, he just did it, whether I asked or not. And one awesome promise for us all of us is Philippians 1:6, “that he will finish the good work that he has started in us.”
Like, for me, he saved me, and he saw that I was going in such a wrong direction persistently. He said, “No, nothing is going to stop me from finishing the good work that I started in you. And he rescued me in that kind of supernatural way.”
So, I’ve been set free completely, and I encourage you to seek with all your heart to break out of this thing. Because, if this continues in your life, it will stunt your walk with God, and you can’t afford that in this short life.
