How Jesus Broke My Porn And Drug Addiction (Amen Alex)

They say when you read history, you are supposed to see yourself both as the bad guy and as the good guy. The idea is that all human beings share the same nature, and under the right or wrong set of circumstances and decisions, we could wind up doing the same thing as the people we read about from long ago. That’s a warning for those of us who think we’re better than others or immune to doing terrible things. That’s also an inspiration whenever we see someone being and doing great things.

Today, I want to share a story that has elements of both kind, but thankfully it has a happy ending. You may remember Amen Alex from a few other articles: How To Quit Porn Forever | How To Defeat Lust For Good | Why Sexual Sin Is So Hard To Overcome. In this video, Alex shares his testimony of how he got free from a porn and drug addiction that derailed his life and made him an unhappy human being.

Like many people who grew up in the internet age, Alex’s struggles with porn addiction started at a young age. When he was 7 or 8, he got his first exposure at a friend’s house, which he describes in terms of an instant addiction. A porn habit, he says, also contributed to him abusing drugs in high school and college.

After hitting rock bottom, Alex gave his life to Christ. Christ’s submission to the will of God, even when it cost him something, inspired Alex to surrender his own will to God. Today, Alex can say that he has been free from porn & drug addiction for 8 to 9 years.

To see Jesus choose God’s way over his—that’s the one thing I could never do, and I wanted that. Once I gave my life to the Lord, right then and there, I said I was sorry. And I said I wanted to follow him, and I believed what he did was true. He broke the addiction. . .

Amen Alex

Video and transcript below!

For more, check out the complete archive of testimonies.

Transcript:

Jesus saved me from addiction to porn and drugs, and this is my testimony.

When I was about 7 or 8, I lived in California, and my friend invited me over for a sleepover, and I hung out with him a lot. And at his house one night, it was late. He turned on the TV, and late at night back then, television played ads for like weird, inappropriate videos you could buy on VHS and DVD of girls doing inappropriate stuff. We kind of sat there, and we just watched that infomercial most of the night, and it was the first time I had seen anything like that, but as a young man or young kid, it just sparked something in me, and I was instantly, like, addicted to it.

We spent most of our time skating around our little town in California looking for little pamphlets or little pieces of magazines in the gutter or on the train tracks. Anywhere we could find that high of looking at pornographic material. That turned into an addiction that led into drugs and alcohol.

I think I was in 8^th grade the first time I drank. I was at my friend’s house, and again, another sleep over. I don’t know what it is about sleepovers. At another sleepover, his parents were gone for the weekend, and there was drugs and there was alcohol, and we just got obliterated. I remember my friend told me that he carried me most of the way home because we walked home that night. I obviously smelled like booze and my dad woke me up, told me to come outside, and on the porch he told me, “Hey, I know what you did. Your brother in the middle of the night had to pick you up out of the toilet, and you were too heavy, so he had to come get us. We put you back in bed in the middle of the night.”

And so I had to mow the whole lawn of our church. My dad was a pastor. They dealt with me really well. Now it’s raining, so let me wrap this up. But basically, it turned into a weed addiction. In 9^th grade, I started doing drugs with friends. Again, at a sleepover. They had some, and they asked me to try it, and I tried it. I smoked weed for about 5 or 6 years.

And then I got into college. In college, all my friends did Adderall. They didn’t do it because they had ADHD, they did it mostly to abuse it, and I abused it as well. I would use my money that my parents sent me for college to buy that. And it again became an addiction. I would just stay up all night drinking, so I could take my Adderall, finish my classes and go on to partying after that.

It was dark. And I remember just kind of hitting rock bottom and asking my parents, “Hey, can I come home?” I left college early, went to a different college closer to my parents’ home, and there I did the same exact thing. I thought I was going to be good because I was at a Christian college, I thought everything was going to change. It got worse. I partied and partied.

One particular night, there was a guy there, who was a gangster, and he stole my phone. And I knew he stole my phone, but in the moment I couldn’t do anything. It was late at night. He probably had a gun, and so the next morning I tried to get my phone back. And a lot of people were like, “Hey, don’t do that.” Even my parents were like, “Don’t go do that.” So my parents kind of put me on lockdown. They were like, “Hey, if you go mess with that kid. He’s a gangster, we know what will happen to you. You’re grounded.”

It was through that whole situation that I realized like, “All my friends I partied with, they’re not real friends.” And also, “I’m not happy.” That’s when I realized “OK, maybe I should give this God thing a try.” I grew up in church, my dad’s a pastor. They always told me what to do, and I never listened, because I was hard-headed. Because I got good grades and was like an outgoing kid and respectable, I guess, and kind to strangers, respectable to adults, I think they just thought—I don’t know. They didn’t know what to do because they tried everything. Only God really could help me.

What I did was I read the book of Mark, one chapter a day for as many chapters are in the book of Mark. So I would run one chapter a day until I finished the book of Mark. Around day 14, actually it was day 14. I read the part where Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane. First of all, I can’t believe I’m just sitting in the rain right now. Jesus is in the garden, and he’s praying, “Not my will, but your will be done.” But he still goes on to die on the cross. I realized there that Jesus isn’t just some superhero, he is human and he is God. 100% human, 100% God, and he went through the cross, even though it was the worst torment anyone will ever deal with. He did that for you, and for me, because he loves us, and because he loved me. And so it broke me.

To see Jesus choose God’s way over his—that’s the one thing I could never do, and I wanted that. Once I gave my life to the Lord, right then and there, I said I was sorry. And I said I wanted to follow him, and I believed what he did was true. He broke the addiction. I still had the temptation. I still had the desire. My flesh still cried out for it. I believed the lies that the flesh told me like, “You’ll feel better if you do this.”

And a lot of times I did. For about a year or so, I still struggled with it really bad, but I was still free, completely free from it. And now, it’s been what like, geez, over 8 or 9 years since I’ve looked at anything like that, so it’s possible. Yeah, I haven’t done drugs in 8 or 9 years either. Probably 10 years, because I kind of gave those up towards the end of high school. No, in college I still did. 8 or 9 years [laughs].

God has completely set me free, and it’s possible for you, too. If you just reach out to him. Read his word. Pray before you read his word. Tell him you need help understanding it. He will open your eyes to who he is, and the power that he has.

I love you guys. I’m going to go back and play some cars with my boys over there on the stairs. And, of course, it stopped raining when I’m done with the video.