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I Quit Watching Porn And I’ve Never Been Happier (Matt’s Story)

Matt pictured with his wife, who shared his testimony with Fight the New Drug on why he doesn't watch porn.
Matt pictured with his wife MiMi.

I’ve never heard of anyone who quit porn and later regretted it. Granted, it can be difficult, especially during the first several weeks of detoxification. And there are many other challenges in life besides pornography. However, quitting porn is doubly beneficial because it rids you of one problem while empowering you to deal with other areas of life.

Like many young people, Matt got hooked on pornography at a young age. It was the daily high he looked forward to every day after school. Over time, however, that high became weaker and shorter, and his health and happiness suffered. When Matt’s computer broke, it was a blessing in disguise. He got to experience the freedom of pornography for 6 months after which he had no interest in going back to his old ways. Fast-forward several years later, Matt is now happily married and realizes that the fight against pornography is a daily fight for love–love of self, wife, family, and life. Love is why Matt makes the daily choice not to settle for anything as cheap and destructive as pornography.

You can check out Matt’s inspiring testimony and the complete transcript down below.

For more, check out the complete archive of testimonies.

Transcript:

I now live in Maryland and I’m the type of guy, I feel like I’m sitting on a winning lottery ticket. I mean I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful girls, and beautiful family. I have a job that I love. Yeah life is so great. But you know it wasn’t always like that.

When I was ten years old I was on the computer and I remember looking at a little pop-up and that was like the first spiral… I remember my first video that I watched in fifth grade and every day I would just go back to my room after school, after the bus ride and look at porn. That’s like my whole middle school… Up until February 2011.

Valentine’s Day showed up and coincidentally my computer also broke. Around that time and I stopped watching porn. I couldn’t look at look at porn for a good six months and only then I realized what a porn-free life was like. My head like physically felt lighter. I could think clearer, I was less anxious, I was more confident, I was less jealous of other people. I remember only thinking about just getting through the day so I could look at porn and that be my high. And then post-porn the whole day can be a high. You know, I’ll wake up and life is good. And I’d take out my guitar or go riding or hang out my friends or just enjoy the sun, just enjoy people compared to like being in my room by myself. I just remember what a black-and-white moment that was for me.

Then MiMi and I got married, had a honeymoon and a week after our honeymoon we had just moved to a new place, I had a new job and yeah, one day I was just off my guard and clicked on a porn website. One thing led to another and I had a fall and I remember being so confused because we just got married and just had our honeymoon and life is supposed to be good and all of a sudden I’m looking at porn again. And I just couldn’t believe it. She could just tell there was a difference in me. I’d go two months and fall, another two months and fall and we went through a whole year of this craziness.

One day she said, “Look, you talk sometimes about how porn can ruin marriages. Well it can ruin our marriage… It can end our marriage.” This reality hit so I started thinking about what was working when I wasn’t looking at porn, before we were married? I was actively fighting for my future bride. And what happened when we got married is that I stopped because of the pride. I had accomplished my goal and that’s when I realized the fight doesn’t end on the wedding day. The fight continues every single day.

Fighting for her and our love and fighting for each other and our future family is what saved me. And that’s the kind of love that I fight for.

Cornelius
Cornelius
An intellectually curious millennial passionate about seeing people make healthy, informed choices about the moral direction of their lives. When I’m not reading or writing, I enjoy hiking, web-making, learning foreign languages, and watching live sports. Alumnus of Georgetown University (B.S.) and The Ohio State University (M.A.).
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