If you haven’t already checked out 7 Toxic Beliefs That Keep People From Quitting Pornography, I invite you to do that now. Changing beliefs is as essential to healing as accountability, diet, exercise, and any other stratagem that we employ to make progress in an area. For example, if we believe deep down that “we need porn,” we’ll never be free, because we are naturally wired to seek out and meet out needs. On the other hand, if we instead affirm the truth that we need connection, this creates the flexibility and freedom to fulfill that need in a wholesome manner, regardless of circumstances.
Today, I’ve transcribed an impactful clip in which the speaker, Nathan Taliaferro, addresses three of the most common lies that Christians believe that undermine their ability to get free and stay free from pornography. The first lie is that God is partially responsible for my struggle; the second lie is that this sin is simply too tempting to achieve victory; and the third lie is that others’ failures are evidence that I cannot live pure.
Check out the complete video and transcript below!
You may have noticed that all of these lies have one thing in common, a victimhood mentality. It’s so tempting and attractive to feel like it’s not really my fault, but victory is guaranteed if you whole-heartedly follow God. With the Bible as your standard, working with God and the Holy Spirit, you can stop believing the lies, and start to live a victorious life based on the truth.
Nathan Taliaferro
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Transcript Of 3 Lies That Kept Me Enslaved By Keydogo – Keys For Life
I’m Nathan Taliaferro with Keydogo. I spent a large part of my 20’s addicted to porn. I compulsively looked at pornography on a regular and escalating basis for years, and tried countless times to stop. I would think or say things like, “Why hasn’t God taken this away yet?” It felt like God had put me in a situation where I just couldn’t escape. I would see so many around me that kept falling in this area, and it felt like failure was inevitable. I kept trying to change my actions, but the fact is I was lying to myself. I felt like I was the victim and God was the culprit, and this thinking prevented my freedom. Eventually, I started to change the way that I thought about sin, and when I did, I finally started seeing success. By God’s grace, I have been free from pornography for over two years, and I’m on a mission to help other people do the same.
The Bible gives us everything we need to refute Satan’s lies. I’m certainly not going to cover everything you need to be pure in this video, but if you want to escape porn, here are 3 lies that will keep you from freedom.
Why hasn’t God taken this away yet?
Wait, that’s not a lie, that’s a question. Okay, here me out. I know I said stuff like this all the time. I prayed, “God, why haven’t you taken this away?” Let’s look at 2 Peter 1:3 “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”
So, why hasn’t God taken this away yet? You need to peel the mask back on that leading question and see the ugly truth that’s behind it. When I said things like this, I was actually implying that God hadn’t given me everything I needed for a godly life, like the scripture we just read said. The root of what I was saying was I desire to be pure, but I believe that I have done enough, and my lack of results is a reflection on God’s unwillingness to help.
Look, this scripture is either true, or it’s not–God has either given you everything you need or he hasn’t, and according to 2 Peter 1:3, he has. The fact is, it’s not God’s fault that you’re watching pornography, it’s your choice. So instead of this lie, what’s a Biblical and truthful way that you can look at your decisions and move forward?
I have everything that I need for a godly life. I have stumbled in the past, but I will trust God and fight with the tools he has given me. I will have victory.
Now that is much more in line with the truth, and a much better attitude.
This sin is simply too tempting to have victory.
This is a particularly slippery one. My mid-20s was a really hard time in my life. I had major mental health issues, and I would seek comfort in sexual sin. Often, I put the blame on God, because of my circumstances. It felt like God was requiring me to run a 2-minute mile, a lofty goal, but simply not possible. Maybe you can relate to this.
Let’s take a look at 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind, and God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”
So, is God the villain that put you in this unwinnable situation? Well, according to this scripture, he has guaranteed that he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, so NO. I used to think that God put me in this difficult situation. What did he expect me to do? Of course, I’m going to turn to sexual impurity. Don’t blame God like I used to. Listen, you can’t believe that it’s too tempting to resist pornography and believe the Bible at the same time. You’ve got to pick. Take ownership of your life and choices and start to think in a spiritual way.
Here’s a better way to talk to yourself that’s based on scripture.
I am responsible for my decisions. I take comfort that God has never, and will never, abandon me to a hopeless situation.
That’s the kind of spiritual thinking that you’ll need to be pure.
And, finally:
If everyone around me can’t overcome temptation, how can I?
Woof. That’s a tough one. I remember looking around me and seeing so many people fail. That statement seemed so real. Let’s go back to 1 Corinthians 10:13: “But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out, so that you can endure it.”
Truth: God will always provide a way out from every temptation. The sentiment that “I see others fall, so there’s no way I can be pure,” isn’t true. You need to look behind that phrase, because what you’re actually saying is, “I see others’ struggles as evidence that God will not fulfill his promise to give me a way out from under temptation.” God has, in fact, lied about always providing a way out.
“Wait, no no. I’m not saying that.”
But aren’t you? If you’re stance is that you cannot overcome the sin, then you are no longer in line with scripture. Or, perhaps, you’re taking the stance that God is not powerful enough to help you overcome your sins. Well, that would contradict 2 Peter 1:2, which we read earlier. You may be tempted to look at others’ failures as evidence that you cannot succeed in this area. The Bible has to be your standard of truth, not others’ shortcomings.
I, and many like me, have attacked the sin of pornography and overcome with God. You can and will overcome if you fully submit yourself to the Lord. So, instead of this faithless approach, what’s a better way to look at this that’s based on truth.
When I’m tempted I will faithfully pursue God and find the way out. The Bible is my standard, not others’ success or failures.
Now, that’s a more victorious mindset. You may have noticed that all of these lies have one thing in common, a victimhood mentality. It’s so tempting and attractive to feel like it’s not really my fault, but victory is guaranteed if you whole-heartedly follow God. With the Bible as your standard, working with God and the Holy Spirit, you can stop believing the lies, and start to live a victorious life based on the truth.
