Sunday, April 14, 2024
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Why Hasn’t God Sent Me My Life Partner?

a ring, a symbol of marriage and monogamous relationship..
Marriage is a big goal for many people of faith.

There is a famous Biblical Proverb, “He who finds a wife [or husband] finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Today, I want to address this verse in the context of sexual integrity. Christianity teaches that God rewards those who obey him. Just as there was punishment for disobeying God in the Garden of Even, there is reward for those who do the right thing, not only in the hereafter, but in this life.

My son (or daughter) do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.”

PRoverbs 3:1-2

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

This is an important life principle. However, some people only obey God with immediate self-interest in mind. They may have been told–or maybe they told themselves–that if they “save themselves for marriage,” or make wise choices in the sexual area, God will send them an ideal life partner.

God can do whatever he wants, and I have no doubt that He often brings people together who then have to work for the success of the relationship. However, God is NOT obligated to do anything, and there are no guarantees in life. It is also my experience that God often does not bless us in the way or time that we expect.

How To Find A Spouse (Christian)

Anyone who wants to get married will eventually have to go out and find a wife or husband. That typically involves taking steps to attract, and keep, a member of the opposite sex, a process that most species on earth dedicate a lot of time to. There are many natural elements that go into relationship success–like attraction, values, personality, purpose, and emotions–in addition to the spiritual. When we ask God for help and wisdom in an area, we should be grateful for whatever he gives us–rather than expecting him to insure the outcome independent of our efforts and the human element.

To be clear, I believe people who make wise decisions in the sexual area are far more likely to achieve happiness in a lifelong monogamous relationship. I’ve seen countless examples where people who’ve slept around or became addicted to pornography, and never got healed, have a really hard time with this. Broken hearts, sexual memories, and emotional ties are no joke. Healing from all of these is available, but there is wisdom in avoiding unnecessary pain.

Entitlement is the enemy of gratitude. Entitlement is about what I’m owed. Gratitude is about what I’m gifted and graced with.

Today, let’s be grateful for the help God gives us, while keeping in mind that it is our responsibility to go out and find a life partner when the time is right.

For more, check out the complete archive of articles on integrity.

An intellectually curious millennial passionate about seeing people make healthy, informed choices about the moral direction of their lives. When I’m not reading or writing, I enjoy hiking, web-making, learning foreign languages, and watching live sports. Alumnus of Georgetown University (B.S.) and The Ohio State University (M.A.).


  1. Anyone who wants to get married will eventually have to take action and be wise. The kind of partner you are looking for will never exist in reality. You have devised it in your fanciful mind and when you have that experience and your “expectations of the ideal” are not met you are faced with tragic frustration and disappointment. Marriage is the union of two people with respective faults and defects who plan to be together to share a space of common love, stability and consolation, but the truth is that the people of our time appreciate, above all, their freedom, their autonomy and the power to realize the different goals they have proposed in life. Sometimes we think it’s a matter of time “the right time”, it seems to be that some people lack of interest because they value more their commodities or they have fear to lose their liberty. In Christ we are free!

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