How To Stop Falling Into Sexual Sin (Allen Parr)

Proverbs 7 is one of the most famous passages in the Bible on overcoming temptation. It is a father’s loving, but stern, warning to his sons on the dangers of yielding to sexual sin. No one is immune from the temptation trap—even the strongest of men in other areas—and everyone should arm themselves with wisdom and self-control. Allen Parr is author of YouTube channel THE BEAT. He is a solid Christian and knows his Bible inside out. I’ve transcribed a helpful clip in which Allen gives 5 rock-solid defenses against sexual sin drawn from Proverbs 7.

The five defenses are 1) store up God’s word in your heart; 2) avoid obviously compromising situations; 3) know your weaknesses and the schemes of the enemy; 4) understand the destructive nature of sexual sin; and 5) know that it can happen to you, too.

Be sure to check out other solid content on his channel.

For more, see the complete archive of articles on integrity.

Transcript:

Today I’m going to give you 5 ways you can build a rock-solid defense against sexual sin. That’s coming up today.

Hey my friend, welcome back to The Beat. My name is Allen Parr. Thank you so much for tuning in. If this is your first time here, it’s a pleasure. If you want a free E-Book, click the link in the description box below. If you enjoy this video, consider subscribing. . .

So there is perhaps no greater sin that can cause more destruction in your life and the life of all who are involved than sexual sin. So I got a lot of stuff that I want to cover today. I want to give you 5 ways you can build a defense. And they’re all going to come from Proverbs chapter 7. Before we jump in, to give you a little bit of background, Proverbs chapter 7 is essentially advice from a father to his son, or sons, but it’s also applicable to women as well. Essentially, the father is trying to teach his son about the danger and destruction of sexual sin, and how to avoid falling into its trap.

Defense #1: You have got to store up God’s word in your heart. I want you to notice here how many different times and how many different ways the author is trying to beg, to implore, to urge his sons, to keep his commands, and the commands of God’s words, fresh in their heart. Notice it says here in verse 1 “Follow my advice, son. Always treasure my commands.” Then it says, “Obey my commands.” Then it says, “Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes.” Then he says, “Tie them on your fingers as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.” He is basically trying to tell his sons, “Listen, if you don’t have the word of God deeply embedded in your heart, you are going to be a target for sexual sin.” So the principle is this: either the word of God will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the word of God.

Defense #2 is to not put yourself in obvious compromising situations. I want you to notice here how it describes the environment in which this young man was getting ready to go into. It says here, “He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman.” What in the world was he doing near her house? Then it says, “Strolling down by the path of her house, it was twilight in the evening as the deep darkness fell.” Listen, the reason why many people fall into sexual sin is because they purposely put themselves in compromising situations, and in the back of their mind, they’re thinking, “I can handle this. I’m OK. I can go over there, and we can get massages with each other. We can kiss each other. We can make out. I can spend the night with this person. We can cuddle up and watch movies together. We can cook dinner for each other, and do all these different things.”

And in the back of our mind, we think that we’re strong enough to handle the temptation only to found out later after we yield to the temptation that our flesh was not strong enough to resist. So the point here is very clear. It is hard enough to resist sexual sin. What you don’t want to do is make it even easier for the enemy to tempt you to yield and fall into sexual sin. But now the story gets a little bit more interesting.

Defense #3: You need to know your specific weaknesses and the enemy’s plan to get you to yield to sexual sin. I want you to notice just how crafty this young woman was because she appealed to all 5 of this young guy’s senses. Number one, she appealed to his sense of sight. It says here in verse 10, “The woman approached him seductively dressed.” And in other versions it says she was dressed like a prostitute. So this one is very obvious and if you’re with somebody, and they are dressed in a provocative way, specifically designed to cause you to look at certain parts of their body, that is saying a lot about their character. That’s saying a lot about their self-esteem. That’s saying a lot about how they value sexual purity. And it’s saying a lot about their spiritual maturity, as well.

But that’s not all. This was a very clever woman. She not only appealed to his sense of sight, but she also appealed to his sense of touch as well. It says here in verse 13, “She threw her arms around him and kissed him.” so, listen, whenever you’re dating somebody pay attention to how aggressive they are because if they are constantly touching on you, constantly feeling on you, constantly trying to push the envelope and to pull you into temptation, that is, once again, a sign that they do not respect sexual purity.

In addition to this, you need to know your weaknesses. Man, if I cannot handle somebody touching me, then I need to refrain from touching. I need to refrain from kissing. I need to refrain from making out–whatever it is–because you know that when somebody appeals to your sense of touch, there is a beeline straight to the bedroom. You don’t have any sort of in-between. It’s just simply when they start touching you, you just completely yield and give yourself to that person. So it’s important for you to know your own weaknesses in these areas.

Not only did she appeal to his sense of sight and his sense of touch, but she also appealed to his sense of taste as well. Notice it says here in verse 14, “Today I have fulfilled my vows. I have food from my fellowship offering at home.” Now without going into too much detail, she’s basically saying, “I’ve got some leftover food at home.” And so it’s that old adage that says the way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So she was trying to set this man up in any way possible to try to get him to yield to sexual temptation. And that is exactly what the enemy wants to do in your life. He will use anyone. He will use anything. He’ll use food. He’ll use dress. He’ll use sight. He’ll use anything he can to try to get you to yield because he’s been watching you. He knows your weaknesses. And he’s going to send people into your life that will key in on these weaknesses, so that you will fall into sexual sin.

But not only did she appeal to his sense of sight, his sense of touch, his sense of taste–now she appeals to his sense of hearing. I want you to notice what she says here in verse 15: “You’re the one I was looking for. I came out to find you, and here you are.” Now, once again, in verse 18, she says, “Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning.” Let’s enjoy each others caresses. And then in verse 21, it says, “So she seduced him with her pretty speech, and enticed him with her flattery.”

Listen, when the enemy wants to bring you down sexually, he will send people in your life that will say some things that will make you feel beautiful. Make you feel pretty. Make you feel handsome. Make you feel intelligent. Maybe these are things that your wife hasn’t said to you in a while, or your husband hasn’t said to you in a while. And this other person may not even be your type, but they say some things to you that you haven’t heard in a long time, and as a result, it does something to you. It makes you feel good about yourself, and then whenever you feel good about yourself in your heart, your body will soon follow. So you have to know your specific trigger points, and you have to know that “Man, I am susceptible to things that people say to me, and so I have to guard my heart and build a defense around my heart so that I do not yield to sexual temptation.”

And then finally, she appealed to his sense of smell as well. Verse 17, it says, “I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.” Listen, smell and perfume simply enhances the erotic nature of sex. So, if you are creating the environment through making it smell a certain way, candles and incense, and all sorts of perfume and cologne–what you’re basically doing is you are purposely creating the environment so that sexual intimacy can occur.

Defense #4 is probably the most important one out of all of these, and that is to understand the destructive nature of sexual sin, and how it can destroy your life. I want you to notice here in verses 22 and 23, he says here, “He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap, awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare.” And here it is–pay attention to this–it says “little knowing it would cost him his life.”

Listen, sexual sin is synonymous with short-term pleasures and long-term consequences. The enemy would love to do nothing more than to hide the consequences of sexual sin and cause you to yield by putting in front of your face the short-term pleasures. And he is going to hide from you the fact that it can cause unwanted pregnancies, which oftentimes can lead to abortions. He’s going to hide the fact that it can lead to STDs, but it’s not just that. It can lead to all sorts of emotional damage. It can lead to lack of self-esteem. If somebody uses you sexually, and then they throw you away because they don’t want to have anything to do with you. It can cause you to feel negative about yourself. It can destroy your relationship with Jesus Christ because you feel guilty, and you’re overwhelmed with guilt and shame and despair over your sin. It can cause you to have a negative view of sex because maybe sex for you was something that was a bad experience because of the way someone may have treated you, when in essence sex can be a beautiful gift that God has given you in the confines of marriage, but because of your experience and your past, you can’t even appreciate it in that way.

It can also cause you to be tied to this person for years and years after this relationship is over because you have given the most precious part of your heart and your mind and your body and soul to this other individual. And then finally, it can lead to other forms of sexual addiction, such as masturbation, or pornography, or all sorts of other things that are outside of God’s will and God’s desire in marriage. so the more you understand how sexual sin can destroy your life, and also the lives of others involved, it will hopefully cause you to think before you lead, about the destruction it will lead to in your life.

And then the fifth and final defense against sexual sin is not thinking that you are immune to it, but understanding that if it can happen to the strongest people in the Bible, then, my friend, it can happen to you, as well. I want you to notice here what the author said. It says here in verse 26, “For she has cast down many wounded,” and notice it says this, “and all who were slain by her were strong men.” Listen, the easiest way for you to yield to sexual sin is to go through life thinking that it can happen to other people but it won’t happen to you. If it can bring down some of the strongest men in the Bible, such as David and Solomon and Samson and others, then, my friend, it is strong enough to bring you down as well.

And so whether you’re single or dating somebody or married and you’re discontent in your marriage, and there’s somebody at the office, somebody at church, somebody in your atmosphere or your environment that is just tempting you toward sexual sin, I hope that these 5 things from Proverbs chapter 7 will help you build a solid–rock-solid–defense against sexual sin, so that you will not experience the devastation of sexual sin in your life.